The stupid and the futile

These are some real life stupid and futile conversations that I have had in the past two days. Some are futile and some are stupid. But all of them thanks to one, Ankur Goel (read smarty-pants-fat-ass moron). Some of them are just so stupid you'll want to bang your head against the wall.

Conversation 1: Stupid

It's 6:00 AM and I'm fast asleep. unexpectedly, the phone rings.
Ankur: Hello, is that Dhruv?
Dhruv: Yes it's me.
Ankur: HI. We have a french tuition.
Dhruv: Yes I know, it's at 6 pm.
Ankur: I know. Okay bye.
The reason for waking me up at an unearthly hour and not asking or telling me anything has baffled my faculties.

Conversation 2: Futile

Ankur: I have a 3 megapixel Nikon digital camera.
Dhruv: Good.
Ankur: Which one do you have?
Dhruv: I have a canon.
Ankur: How many megapixels?
Dhruv: 5.6
Ankur: Actually megapixels don't matter. The company does. My camera is better than yours because Nikon is better.
Dhruv: Maybe that's true but megapixels do matter.
Ankur: How is that?
Dhruv: The more megapixels you have the clearer the image is.
Ankur: I know that. I also have a Nikon Coolpix 8700. 8.7 megapixels. It's better than yours.
Dhruv: Maybe so.
Ankur: No, it is alot better.
Dhruv: Okay it is. Happy?
Ankur: NO I"m telling you.
Dhruv: Alright, I believe you.
Ankur: I mean it.
Dhruv: I said I believe you.
Ankur: I'm serious.
Dhruv: Alright!
This horribly useless conversation lasted a good 10 minutes with Ankur insisting that he has a better digi cam than me when I never even made a comparison.

Conversation 3: Stupid and Futile

Ankur: I have a camera with optical zoom. It can zoom into specific parts of the picture. Like if there's a child sitting, the whole picture remains the same but the legs get zoomed, so they appear larger.
Dhruv: That is just not possible.
Ankur: No it is.
Dhruv: Then it's not optical zoom.
Ankur: It's an imported camera. I imported it from Thailand. It cost me 4 lakh rupees.
Dhruv: SO what.
Ankur: It works that way.
Dhruv: It can't. In optical zoom, uou zoom into the image by changing the focal length and stuff. So the whole image gets zoomed.
Ankur: But it's imported.
Dhruv: I want to see a demonstration.
Ankur: Er... Actually it's in Thailand right now.
Dhruv: Why?
Ankur: It's too hot in India. It'll get spoilt, so I keep it in Thailand in my house.
Dhruv: You have a house in Thailand?
Ankur: I have 8 houses in Thailand.
Dhruv: Will you get it over to India so I can see a demonstration.
Ankur: No, I can't, it's too hot in India.
Dhruv: Then how will you use it yourself?
Ankur: I go to Thailand every week for the weekend. So, I'll use it there.
The end.
These are three of the most stupid and futile conversations. There are more, and I'll post them later, as part of a series of post under this title.